"Goats": baaaad!
Brendan Monroe
Issue date: 11/20/09 Section: Arts & Entertainment
I'm reluctant to spend more time than I already have on the new Grant Heslov film "The Men Who Stare at Goats." Feeling much too long at a painful 94 minutes, the aforementioned goats don't make their presence felt until nearly an hour in. Not that it matters, because by that time we are so confused as to the film's ambitions that we've all but given up before the final frame is even loaded into the projector.
George Clooney stars as Lyn Cassady, a "Jedi warrior" who believes he possesses the psychic ability to do things such as kill a goat just by staring at it, hence the title, however awkward and misleading it might ultimately be. The potential ramifications of such a thing are never discussed, and remarkably no one in this special branch of the army seems to do much of anything with their "powers." The film starts out with the warning, "More of this is true than you would believe," and pretty much goes downhill from there. The script, by Peter Straughan, adapted from the book by Jon Ronson, feels like half-baked Coen Brothers. Additionally, Straughan doesn't know what he wants his story to be. Quirky comedy, satiric military expose, dark slapstick or anti-war protest film, "The Men Who Stare at Goats" combines all of these, and not in a good way.
Like a street vendor shilling out dollar hot dogs on the corner, this goat comedy is dressed appealingly with big name toppings that disguise the crap beneath as something more…substantial. In addition to Clooney, Ewan McGregor is here as a deadbeat ex-husband/ journalist who latches on to Clooney's Cassady in order to carpool with him into Iraq so that his ex-wife will no longer think he is a loser. That Clooney and other characters go around calling themselves "Jedi warriors," and the brief synopsis by a character of the plot of "Star Wars", are a not-so-subtle jabs at McGregor's "Star Wars" resume. That's really about as interesting as things get. Jeff Bridges is tossed in to basically play a variation of his "Big Lebowski" character as Bill Django, a moronic hippie that practices yoga and heads up a division of the military called the "New Earth Army" which, like Professor Xavier's school for mutants, pulls in enlisted men that Django finds gifted to train in utilizing their psychic powers. Kevin Spacey pops up in the latter third of the film as one of these men, a rather jealous, overly ambitious pessimist who loves to ruin people's day. For example, at a wedding reception he approaches the bride and groom and apologizes in advance, saying he's "Sorry it doesn't work out for you two." It's one of the film's funniest moments…and it's highlighted in the trailer. As are all the truly funny scenes in the film.
This is ultimately what makes "The Men Who Stare at Goats" so frustrating. Everything that had looked so good about it was encapsulated in the film's trailer. Even more frustrating, the film gets increasingly absurd as it goes on, until the film's apparent climax features a bunch of soldiers running around an army base on LSD. No, it doesn't make sense and it's not at all funny. The only purpose it would even seem to serve in the film is to take up time. The same night I saw this film I also watched a much better one, "Pirate Radio," which is actually funny and original, two qualities that this film surely lacks. If you're in search of a comedy this week, pass up this strange Iraq dramedy in exchange for that lively British import. You'll be glad you did.
George Clooney stars as Lyn Cassady, a "Jedi warrior" who believes he possesses the psychic ability to do things such as kill a goat just by staring at it, hence the title, however awkward and misleading it might ultimately be. The potential ramifications of such a thing are never discussed, and remarkably no one in this special branch of the army seems to do much of anything with their "powers." The film starts out with the warning, "More of this is true than you would believe," and pretty much goes downhill from there. The script, by Peter Straughan, adapted from the book by Jon Ronson, feels like half-baked Coen Brothers. Additionally, Straughan doesn't know what he wants his story to be. Quirky comedy, satiric military expose, dark slapstick or anti-war protest film, "The Men Who Stare at Goats" combines all of these, and not in a good way.
Like a street vendor shilling out dollar hot dogs on the corner, this goat comedy is dressed appealingly with big name toppings that disguise the crap beneath as something more…substantial. In addition to Clooney, Ewan McGregor is here as a deadbeat ex-husband/ journalist who latches on to Clooney's Cassady in order to carpool with him into Iraq so that his ex-wife will no longer think he is a loser. That Clooney and other characters go around calling themselves "Jedi warriors," and the brief synopsis by a character of the plot of "Star Wars", are a not-so-subtle jabs at McGregor's "Star Wars" resume. That's really about as interesting as things get. Jeff Bridges is tossed in to basically play a variation of his "Big Lebowski" character as Bill Django, a moronic hippie that practices yoga and heads up a division of the military called the "New Earth Army" which, like Professor Xavier's school for mutants, pulls in enlisted men that Django finds gifted to train in utilizing their psychic powers. Kevin Spacey pops up in the latter third of the film as one of these men, a rather jealous, overly ambitious pessimist who loves to ruin people's day. For example, at a wedding reception he approaches the bride and groom and apologizes in advance, saying he's "Sorry it doesn't work out for you two." It's one of the film's funniest moments…and it's highlighted in the trailer. As are all the truly funny scenes in the film.
This is ultimately what makes "The Men Who Stare at Goats" so frustrating. Everything that had looked so good about it was encapsulated in the film's trailer. Even more frustrating, the film gets increasingly absurd as it goes on, until the film's apparent climax features a bunch of soldiers running around an army base on LSD. No, it doesn't make sense and it's not at all funny. The only purpose it would even seem to serve in the film is to take up time. The same night I saw this film I also watched a much better one, "Pirate Radio," which is actually funny and original, two qualities that this film surely lacks. If you're in search of a comedy this week, pass up this strange Iraq dramedy in exchange for that lively British import. You'll be glad you did.
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