The Sandspur

Issue date: 10/9/09 Section: Life & Times

Media Credit: MCT Campus OFF TO EXPLORE: A statue of Christopher Columbus stands in memory of his discovery of America.

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Ah! It gets me teary-eyed every time; not the old adage but the fact that most Americans do not know what date Columbus Day is. While it pains me to have to remind everyone, I nevertheless will … this once. I most assuredly believe that this last reminder is all that it will take to engrain the date in your mind. You are probably taken aback by my confidence, wondering how I possibly could be so sure of your own memory, or your lack of one.

The answer is simple. This Columbus Day is going to be a day that you will never forget. By the stroke of midnight the following day, you will have this date so embedded into your hippocampus (the part of the brain that stores new memories) that you will be content with hardly wandering off campus until next year's Columbus Day. This is because I have formulated a new, exciting way in which you can celebrate this holiday in a manner which you have never had the pleasure to celebrate it before. Previously, a holiday shared only among bank employees and postal workers, the 517th Anniversary of Columbus Day will be looked back upon as the new dawn of discovery. All you have to do is follow these simple, helpful tips:

1. Explore! Discover sections of the Rollins campus and Winter Park that you have never set foot on before, preferably while blindfolded or incapacitated in some other way. You will gain a new appreciation for the brilliant mariner's skills of navigating the previously uncharted Atlantic!

2. Eat Pasta! Contrary to popular belief, Columbus was not Spanish but Italian, from Genoa. Prove you know the difference by having pasta, not paella, for dinner.

3. Swim! Columbus' journey took him over lots of water. Go for a swim in Lake Virginia or in your bathtub (not too soon after eating) and imagine that you are in the Atlantic, circa October 1492!

4. Indians! America's first inhabitants do not remember Columbus very fondly. The term "Indians" is one of the reasons why. Thinking he had arrived in the Indies, Columbus originated the famous error, which continues even into the present. Wherever you go, make an effort to mislabel whatever you find.

5. Film Fest! There are plenty of films about the Italian mariner. I recommend two that were released in 1992 for the 500th anniversary. "1492:Conquest of Paradise" with Gerard Depardieu and the perennially underrated "Christopher Columbus: The Discovery," featuring Tom Selleck as King Ferdinand. Yes, Magnum P.I. once played the King of Spain.

6. Leif! Realize Columbus was actually 491 years late on his discovery of America; famed Viking Leif Erikson actually discovered the continent in 1001 A.D. In recognition of this, commemorate Leif Erikson day on Oct. 9 by drinking some wine and enjoying some salmon as Leif did when arriving in what is now present day Newfoundland.

7. Go a' Knighting! Columbus inspired the world's largest fraternal organization, the Knights of Columbus. Founded in 1882 as a charity, the Knights took their name based on Columbus' Catholic prominence. In the last decade alone, the Knights have given over $1 billion to charity. Find a way to give back, or at least share your newfound territory.

8. Wander! End the night fixated on the same moon Columbus was 517 years ago. Fall asleep imagining all the discoveries you will make in the year to come.

Remember, Columbus Day is Monday, Oct. 12.

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