The holy herb
Peter Travis
Issue date: 9/26/08 Section: Opinions
In the times of the Old Testament, God sent the Israelites manna from heaven when they were starving in the desert. In the New Testament, Jesus fed the multitude by making a supply of fish and bread to feed over 5000 people. And now, in the 21st century, divine intervention has taken on a completely new form: marijuana. That's right, the reefer. Weed. Ganja. Bud. Grass. Side Salad. Mary Jane. Sticky Icky. Whacky Tobaccky. Whatever they call it, one thing is sure: Our Father, who art in heaven, puffs the magic dragon.
"Sacrilege!" shouts Pope Palpatine XVI. Now, now your Excellency, relax and take a spot in the rotation. How do I know that the Almighty blazes with the archangels? Father Cyril Papudov told me so. Father Papudov is a Bulgarian priest who has a backyard full of marijuana. But this grown operation is not an everyday weed farm. Father Papudov claims that this particular garden is evidence of Immaculate Conception. When asked by police and reporters about his grow work, he claims the garden is "God's gift to nature," and that the plants seeded themselves.
Since authorities have already arrested Father Papudov seven times in the past, they have now had him on 24-hour surveillance since the beginning of this month. After their careful observation, the Bulgarian police will be able to say whether or not the weed is being grown from above. Thus, in 50 years Zora Neale Hurston's classic novel may be reprised with the title, Their Eyes Were Watching God's Weed.
At the moment, police are not buying Father Papudov's story, denying the possibility of holy herb. "If someone has a huge crop of cannabis in their back garden, it's highly unlikely they are just sitting there admiring its horticultural properties," said one police source, cleverly making a pun out of the adverb "highly."
There has been no discovery made in terms of the strand of the cannabis seeds in Father Papudov's garden. Thus, we may never know whether God prefers White Widow, Maui Wowie, or Pineapple Express.
"Sacrilege!" shouts Pope Palpatine XVI. Now, now your Excellency, relax and take a spot in the rotation. How do I know that the Almighty blazes with the archangels? Father Cyril Papudov told me so. Father Papudov is a Bulgarian priest who has a backyard full of marijuana. But this grown operation is not an everyday weed farm. Father Papudov claims that this particular garden is evidence of Immaculate Conception. When asked by police and reporters about his grow work, he claims the garden is "God's gift to nature," and that the plants seeded themselves.
Since authorities have already arrested Father Papudov seven times in the past, they have now had him on 24-hour surveillance since the beginning of this month. After their careful observation, the Bulgarian police will be able to say whether or not the weed is being grown from above. Thus, in 50 years Zora Neale Hurston's classic novel may be reprised with the title, Their Eyes Were Watching God's Weed.
At the moment, police are not buying Father Papudov's story, denying the possibility of holy herb. "If someone has a huge crop of cannabis in their back garden, it's highly unlikely they are just sitting there admiring its horticultural properties," said one police source, cleverly making a pun out of the adverb "highly."
There has been no discovery made in terms of the strand of the cannabis seeds in Father Papudov's garden. Thus, we may never know whether God prefers White Widow, Maui Wowie, or Pineapple Express.
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uselessonline
posted 10/01/08 @ 6:13 PM EST
Um, thanks for the mention. I think....
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